I recently had a conversation with a long-time friend about what a great day of relaxation constitutes. For them, it was filled with activity and socializing. For me, it was literally sitting under an umbrella at the beach, reading a book, going for a swim here and there, maybe taking a beach walk, and letting my energy soften.
I’ve been working on finding the balance between activity and rest, especially since surgery and even prior to that. I have been learning to not push myself, especially when that pushing is coming from scarcity (because that path leads to migraines). This means learning how to honor my body’s energy for the day: some days I have more or less than others, and that’s okay. I’m not a machine. I’m a human with different obligations and desires and dreams and each day is unique even when it feels “the same”.
In the past, my energy felt like it was feast or famine. And if I was depleted, I’d still push myself into activity and doing. Now, I take intentional relaxation days so that I have the reserves needed for when I may need to put more effort into my day. This softening with myself has been… uncomfortable.
I very much come from a work hard to reap the benefits mindset, but it honestly has not really worked for me beyond making me ill. (Even thinking about how I used to live and writing about it makes me feel yucky!) It isn’t balanced enough for me, and my threshold for this method of work from a pushing place is pretty low. Sure, I can get a ton done in a short period of time IF and WHEN I need to (or want to).
It's so tempting, when I do an avalanche of work in a short period of time, to keep that pace going with everything else in my day. (This is that working from a pushing place space.) Working in this way is rather stressful, frenetic and exhausting; it’s ultimately depleting, draining.
Working, LIVING, in this way is like always driving your car at 100mph: your miles per gallon reduces significantly.
Whereas if you kept at a good steady pace, you’d have greater fuel efficiency.
Some folks have bigger tanks (aka a higher threshold) than others. And so with folks who are similar to me, with smaller or more sensitive tanks, we have to be very mindful of our efficiency.
This is where the non-push softening comes into play.
Moving into a place of greater efficiency=greater restoration is very different than being more efficient to have greater productivity. This isn’t about productivity at all, and yet somehow, productivity increases as a byproduct of the method. My tank has expanded as a result – because I’m not wasting energy on things that no longer give me life.
Does living with this type of efficiency in mind feel boring at times? Absolutely.
No longer chasing the highs of adrenaline to fuel the day is a shift; and it’s one that an adrenaline-addicted brain/body will interpret as “boring”.
It’s not really boring, it’s living from a place of no longer seeking, but one of having. And in having, there is stillness, quiet, peace, contentment, all the things that many of us say we want. It’s living from a place of abundance. (Whereas the alternate way is living from a place of scarcity.)
Does this mean there will never be times where you have to step on the gas, and use fuel a little quicker to sprint through the finish line (whether out of obligation or joy), never tapping into adrenaline to do stuff? Not at all!
It does mean that the recovery from said sprint will have to be considered.
I think about this when it comes to money too, because we’re going to be talking about that here in some capacity going forward as it’s something that I’ve spent the last year and a half studying in a university setting…
The more “boring” or efficient my energy is (see: sitting at the beach reading a book all day that will give me tons of energy for the next day vs going on an adventure that will be exciting but also leave me tired the next day), the more solid I feel in my money. The better choices I make with my money.
I know that when I’ve done too much without adequate rest I’m prone to making unwise purchasing decisions (overbuying groceries, quick-fix purchases, “energy” supplements, I’m looking at you). It’s seeking a sort of stimulation or release in order to provide more energy elsewhere in my life. It comes from a place of lack, or scarcity and trying to “fill up” with this sort of false energy.
What I’ve learned the most is that the more stabilized my energy’s become, the more stabilized my money is, and they directly influence each other. They are mirrors.
And what I’ve learned is that the more I live from a place of abundance, rest, ease, and fulfillment, the more I’m able to make wise money choices and revel in where I am right now.
A few questions for you to consider:
How do you feel best: with stimulation, with low-activity, something in between?
How do you feel when things are running on efficient auto-pilot?
What is your energy showing you?
Written from the lanai in Florida, and after a long beach walk with lunch at the beach, ultimately sent from the couch with Martie lying next to me. Boring for some, the best kind of Sunday for me. ;-)
XOXO
Pamela
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